Sayyidatuna Umm-e-Sulaym رَضِیَ اللّٰەُ عَنْهَا / Helping household in domestic chores

Brief introduction

Her name is Rumaysa Bint-e-Milhaan Ansariyah and her Kunyah is Umm-e-Sulaym. She رَضِیَ اللّٰەُ عَنْهَا is the Rada’ee [رَضاعِی] aunt of the beloved father of the Holy Prophet صَلَّى اللّٰەُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم, Sayyiduna ‘Abdullah رَضِىَ اللّٰەُ عَنْهُ (Mirat-ul-Manajih, vol. 8, pp. 53), and the mother of the servant of the Holy Prophet صَلَّى اللّٰەُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم, Sayyiduna Anas Bin Maalik رَضِىَ اللّٰەُ عَنْهُ. She رَضِیَ اللّٰەُ عَنْهَا belonged to the tribe of Banu Najjaar. She رَضِیَ اللّٰەُ عَنْهَا was blessed with embracing Islam and performing Bay’at.

Marriage and children

Her first marriage was with Maalik Bin Nadr. From this marriage, she رَضِیَ اللّٰەُ عَنْهَا gave birth to Sayyiduna Anas and Sayyiduna Bara رَضِىَ اللّٰەُ عَنْهُمَا. When Allah Almighty blessed her with the treasure of Iman, then she رَضِیَ اللّٰەُ عَنْهَا also invited her husband towards Islam but he did not accept her invitation. Furious, he left for Syria and passed away there. After the death of Maalik Bin Nadr, she رَضِیَ اللّٰەُ عَنْهَا was married to Sayyiduna Abu Talhah Ansari رَضِىَ اللّٰەُ عَنْهُ. From this marriage, she رَضِیَ اللّٰەُ عَنْهَا gave birth to Sayyiduna ‘Abdullah and Sayyiduna Abu ‘Umayr رَضِىَ اللّٰەُ عَنْهُمَا. (Tabqat Ibn Sa’d, vol. 8, pp. 312; Tahzeeb-ut-Tahzeeb, vol. 10, pp. 523)

Few glimpses of her observance of reverence towards the Holy Rasool

٭   One day, the Holy Rasool صَلَّى اللّٰەُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم came to the house of Sayyidatuna Umm-e-Sulaym رَضِیَ اللّٰەُ عَنْهَا and drank water from a vessel. Sayyidatuna Umm-e-Sulaym رَضِیَ اللّٰەُ عَنْهَا cut that piece off where the Holy Rasool صَلَّى اللّٰەُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم drank water from and kept it as a sacred relic. (Musnad Ahmad, vol. 10, pp. 319, Hadees 27185)

٭   The Holy Rasool صَلَّى اللّٰەُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم would come to her and perform Qaylulah[1] there. She رَضِیَ اللّٰەُ عَنْهَا used to lay down the bedding of leather for the Holy Rasool صَلَّى اللّٰەُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم. The Holy Rasool صَلَّى اللّٰەُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم used to rest upon it. The Holy Rasool صَلَّى اللّٰەُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم would perspire a lot. She رَضِیَ اللّٰەُ عَنْهَا would gather the [blessed] perspiration of the Holy Rasool صَلَّى اللّٰەُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم and mix it in the fragrance. Once, the Holy Rasool صَلَّى اللّٰەُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم woke up and said, ‘O Umm-e-Sulaym! What are you doing?’ She humbly replied, ‘Huzoor! This is your [blessed] perspiration which we mix in our fragrance. This is an excellent fragrance.’ In another narration, it is stated that she رَضِیَ اللّٰەُ عَنْهَا humbly replied, ‘Ya Rasoolallah صَلَّى اللّٰەُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم! We hope for its blessings for our children.’ He صَلَّى اللّٰەُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم replied, ‘You do right.’ Therefore, when the time of the demise of Sayyiduna Anas رَضِىَ اللّٰەُ عَنْهُ approached, he رَضِىَ اللّٰەُ عَنْهُ left a will saying that this fragrance be mixed in his ‘Hanoot’[2]. Therefore, as per his will, that fragrance was mixed in the Hanoot of Sayyiduna Anas Bin Maalik رَضِىَ اللّٰەُ عَنْهُ. (Sahih Bukhari, vol. 4, pp. 182, Hadees 6281; Sahih Muslim, pp. 978, 979, Hadees 6055-6057; Musnad Ahmad, vol. 4, pp. 451, Hadees 13365)

Saw in the Paradise

The Holy Rasool صَلَّى اللّٰەُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم states, ‘In a dream, I saw myself to be in the Paradise. All of a sudden, I saw the wife of Abu Talhah, Rumaysa, in the Paradise.’ (Sahih Bukhari, vol. 2, pp. 525, Hadees 3679)

Services rendered to Ahadees

The illustrious and dignified personalities like Sayyiduna Anas Bin Maalik, Sayyiduna ‘Abdullah Bin ‘Abbas, Sayyiduna ‘Amr Bin ‘Aasim Ansari and Abu Salamah Bin ‘Abdur Rahman رَضِىَ اللّٰەُ عَنْهُم narrated Ahadees from her. Moreover, Ahadees narrated by her have been narrated in Sahih Bukhari, Sahih Muslim, Abu Dawood, Sunan-ut-Tirmizi and Sunan Nasa`ee. (Tahzeeb-ut-Tahzeeb, vol. 10, pp. 522, 523)

Demise

Her year of death has not been mentioned in the books of Seerah. However, ‘Allamah Ibn Hajar ‘Asqalani رَحْمَةُ اللّٰەِ عَلَيْه has written that she رَضِیَ اللّٰەُ عَنْهَا passed away during the caliphate of Sayyiduna Usman-e-Ghani رَضِىَ اللّٰەُ عَنْهُ. (Taqreeb-ut-Tahzeeb, pp. 1381)

May Allah Almighty shower His mercy upon her and forgive us without accountability for her sake!

اٰمِيۡن   بِجَاهِ   النَّبِيِّ  الۡاَمِيۡن   صَلَّى  اللّٰهُ  عَلَيۡهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم



[1] To take a nap in the afternoon is called Qaylulah.

[2] Hanoot: The fragrance that is applied to the shroud and deceased, and is made out of camphor and sandalwood. (‘Umda-tul-Qaari, vol. 15, pp. 392, Taht-al-Hadees: 6281)

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Sayyidatuna Umm-e-Sulaym رَضِیَ اللّٰەُ عَنْهَا / Helping household in domestic chores

Seeking Khula’ without any Shar’i reason

Question 1: What do Islamic scholars say about the following issue? If a woman or her family members seek Khula’[1] without any Shar’i reason, then what is the ruling on it?

بِسْمِ اللّٰہِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِیْمِ

اَلْجَوَابُ بِعَوْنِ الْمَلِکِ الْوَھَّابِ اَللّٰھُمَّ  ھِدَایَۃَ الْحَقِّ وَالصَّوَابِ

Answer: For a woman or her family members to seek Khula’ without any Shar’i reason is impermissible, Haraam and a sin. Regarding the woman seeking Khula’ without any reason, the Greatest and Noblest Prophet صَلَّى اللّٰەُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم said that she would not smell the fragrance of Heaven. Similarly, in another blessed Hadees, such a woman has been declared to be a hypocrite. Moreover, regarding the person who provokes a wife into going against her husband, the Beloved Nabi صَلَّى اللّٰەُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم said, ‘He is not from among us.’ Sayyiduna Sawban رَضِىَ اللّٰەُ عَنْهُ narrated that Revered and Renowned Rasool صَلَّى اللّٰەُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم said, ‘ایما امرءۃ سئلت زوجھا طلاقا فی غیر ما باس فحرام علیھا رائحة’, i.e. ‘the fragrance of Heaven is Haraam for the woman who seeks a divorce from her husband without any valid excuse.’

In another narration, it is stated ‘ایما امراۃ اختلعت من زوجھا من غیر باس لم ترح رائحۃ الجنة’ i.e. ‘the woman (asking) her husband for Khula’ without any valid excuse will not smell the fragrance of Heaven.’ Sayyiduna Sawban رَضِىَ اللّٰەُ عَنْهُ narrated that the Revered and Renowned Prophet صَلَّى اللّٰەُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم said, ‘المختلعات هن المنافقات’, i.e. ‘The women seeking Khula’ (without any valid excuse) are hypocrites.’ (Sunan-ut-Tirmizi, vol. 2, pp. 402, Hadees 1190, 1191, 1192)

Sayyiduna Abu Hurayrah رَضِىَ اللّٰەُ عَنْهُ narrated that the Beloved and Blessed Prophet صَلَّى اللّٰەُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم said, ليس منا من خبب امرأة على زوجها’ i.e. ‘the one who makes a woman poison her relations with her husband is not from among our fold.’ (Abu Dawood, vol. 2, pp. 369, Hadees 2175)

Fatawa Razawiyyah states, ‘If a woman asks for a divorce, she will be a hypocrite. Those who provoke a woman into poisoning her relations with her husband are dear to the devil.’ (Fatawa Razawiyyah, vol. 22, pp. 217)

In reply to a question, the leading and legendary scholar of Shari’ah and Tareeqah Mufti Amjad Ali A’zami رَحْمَةُ اللّٰەِ عَلَيْه stated, ‘If the husband perfectly fulfils all the rights of his wife, then it is Haraam for the wife to seek a divorce without any Shari’ah-approved need. Therefore, those who force a woman into obtaining a divorce are sinners.’ (Fatawa Amjadiyyah, vol. 2, pp. 164)

وَاللہُ  اَعْلَمُ   عَزَّوَجَلَّ   وَ رَسُوْلُہٗ اَعْلَم   صَلَّی اللّٰہُ عَلَیْہِ واٰلِہٖ وَسَلَّم

Zakah from the wealth of wife

Question 2: What do Islamic scholars say about the following issue? If a wife possesses wealth to such an extent that payment of Zakah from the wealth becomes obligatory, then who will pay the Zakah, the husband or the wife?

بِسْمِ اللّٰہِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِیْمِ

اَلْجَوَابُ بِعَوْنِ الْمَلِکِ الْوَھَّابِ اَللّٰھُمَّ  ھِدَایَۃَ الْحَقِّ وَالصَّوَابِ

Answer: If the wife possesses “Nisab[2]”, then it is Fard for her to pay Zakah. It is not compulsory for the husband to pay her Zakah. However, if the husband pays Zakah on her behalf with her consent, the paid Zakah will be valid in this case.

وَاللہُ  اَعْلَمُ   عَزَّوَجَلَّ   وَ رَسُوْلُہٗ اَعْلَم   صَلَّی اللّٰہُ عَلَیْہِ واٰلِہٖ وَسَلَّم



[1] Dissolving a Nikah in return for money is called Khula’. (Bahar-e-Shari’at, vol. 2, pp. 194)

[2] Nisab means 7.5 Tolas of gold or 52.5 Tolas of silver or the money or goods equivalent to 52.5 Tolas of silver (excluding basic necessities). Note that one Tola is equivalent to 11.664 grams.

 

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Sayyidatuna Umm-e-Sulaym رَضِیَ اللّٰەُ عَنْهَا / Helping household in domestic chores

It is proven from the blessed Seerah of our Holy Prophet صَلَّى اللّٰەُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم to help Azwaaj-e-Mutahharat[1] رَضِىَ اللّٰەُ عَنْهُنَّ in domestic chores. Mother of believers, Sayyidatuna ‘Aishah Siddiqah رَضِیَ اللّٰەُ عَنْهَا states, ‘The Holy Prophet صَلَّى اللّٰەُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم would remain engaged in his household chores. When the time for Salah would approach, then he صَلَّى اللّٰەُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم would leave for Salah.’ (Sahih Bukhari, vol. 1, pp. 241, Hadees 676)

The Holy Nabi صَلَّى اللّٰەُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم would not hesitate in performing any household chore. He صَلَّى اللّٰەُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم would cut meat into pieces with his Azwaaj-e-Mutahharat. He صَلَّى اللّٰەُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم would milk the goats. He صَلَّى اللّٰەُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم would look after his clothes. He صَلَّى اللّٰەُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم would wash them. He صَلَّى اللّٰەُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم would sew his blessed clothes and Na’layn Sharifayn [the blessed sandals]. He صَلَّى اللّٰەُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم would tether the animal used as conveyance. He صَلَّى اللّٰەُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم would feed the animal, etc. So we came to know that performing household chores is the way of righteous people. Therefore, we shall not hesitate in performing any permissible chore. (Musnad Ahmad, vol. 9, pp. 386, Hadees 24685; Madarij-un-Nubuwwah, vol. 1, pp. 42; Mirat-ul-Manajih, vol. 8, pp. 84, summarised)

Dear Islamic brothers! There is nothing wrong for a man to perform domestic chores in his house or for him to help his wife in performing household chores. Actually, our society is very strange. If you make the woman work more, then the society says, ‘You treat your woman as a work machine. You don’t let her have any rest. And if any man helps his wife in the household chores, then the society taunts him as ‘the slave of wife’ etc.

Dear Islamic brothers! Rather than paying attention to such statements, we should draw our attention towards the commandments of Allah Almighty and His Beloved Rasool صَلَّى اللّٰەُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم and act accordingly. Wife is also a servant of Allah Almighty. She does not exist only to broom and mop around, cook food and wash dishes etc. Therefore, household chores should be carried out mutually.

At my home, I try my best not to ever say that lay the dining-mat down. اَلْحَمْدُلِلّٰە, I do it myself. At times, I get tired due to some commitments. Moreover, my age is also such that getting up etc., gets difficult at times. However, I think the same for her that the way I face difficulty in getting up etc., she would also be facing the same issues based on the age factor. Whereas, I know that if I do ask her to do so, she will not say no to me and will lay the dining-mat down. But before she gets up, I normally pick it up and lay it down.

I am mentioning this just for persuasion. So tell me has it reduced my dignity? The one who is used to criticising will keep criticising. Therefore, you should keep fulfilling your own responsibility. May Allah Almighty enable us to act upon the blessed Sunnahs of the Holy Prophet صَلَّى اللّٰەُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم.

اٰمِيۡن   بِجَاهِ   النَّبِيِّ  الۡاَمِيۡن   صَلَّى  اللّٰهُ  عَلَيۡهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم



[1] The blessed wives of the Holy Prophet صَلَّى اللّٰەُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم

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Sayyidatuna Umm-e-Sulaym رَضِیَ اللّٰەُ عَنْهَا / Helping household in domestic chores

Sympathy cost her dearly

In a city of Punjab, there was a knock on the door in the midday. When the housewife opened the door, an old woman requested her to bring her a glass of water. The days were very hot, therefore having pity on the old lady she asked her to come inside the home and sit and gave her water. After drinking water, the old lady asked about the family members present that time in the course of conversation. When she learnt that there were two to three children and two women in the home, she asked for water again for taking medicine. As she took the medicine her phone began to ring. The old woman received the call and said to the caller, ‘The doctor has given the medicine; there are no capsules, but three small tablets and two big tablets.’ After a little while of the old woman’s call, her gang members entered the house by force. They held the children and women hostage and robbed them of cash, jewellery and expensive things and then left.

Prevention is better than feeling sad

Dear Islamic sisters! Helping a needy person or giving water to a thirsty person is a good act, but acting sensibly in order to protect your life, wealth and honour is also necessary. Sometimes feeling sympathetic we become careless and it may cause us to suffer loss as happened in the above-mentioned incident.

Madani pearls of precaution

It will be effective to act upon these Madani pearls to protect our life, wealth and the family.

1. Be careful when you open door

Do not send the young children to open the door when someone knocks at the door. Ask mature children to do so or go to the door yourself by taking a Shar’i precaution. Teach sensible children that they should open the door after being satisfied by asking the name, identity and the purpose of the one who is knocking at the door. Install electric lock, security cameras and intercoms, if possible, and open the door after seeing the one who is at the door; if there is a stranger, open the door after being convinced.

2. Do not tell family secrets to anyone

If you allow any stranger (woman) to enter your home by taking a precaution as per need, even then do not tell her at all about family matters such as the number of family members present at home, how much cash and jewellery you have and where they are kept, the time when the father of children and other male family members return, etc.

3. Do not trust strangers (women) unnecessarily

Do not trust any stranger (woman) unnecessarily at all by being deceived by her flattery or by being impressed with the Ta’weez, thread she gives you or Istikharah she does for you or when she tells you the sayings of pious people, etc. Cheaters, fraudsters and people like robbers are usually expert in the art of speaking and captivate their listeners in the course of conversation. Do not give unnecessary information about your family matters to even your maidservants. Be careful when you eat something by taking from someone. Remember! A little carelessness can bring about lifelong regret, loss of wealth and loss of honour. A poet has beautifully said:

Libas-e-khizr mayn yaan sainkron rahzan bhi phirtay hayn

Ager jeenay ki hasrat hay to kuch pehchan payda ker

May Allah Almighty protect our life and wealth, family and faith and save us from the loss of the world and the Hereafter!

اٰمِيۡن   بِجَاهِ   النَّبِيِّ  الۡاَمِيۡن   صَلَّى  اللّٰهُ  عَلَيۡهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم

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