Give Respect, Get Respect
As soon as we hear the words "a loving home", a picture comes to mind of a house where the people living there respect one another and maintain an atmosphere of politeness and honour. In reality, respecting each other is a quality that keeps the foundations of a home strong for a very long time. On the other hand, disrespect shakes these foundations and causes conflicts. Therefore, we should follow the golden rule: "Give respect, get respect."
The Holy Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم encouraged the adoption of this great quality of respect through his words and actions. For example, the Noble Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم said: "O Anas! Respect and honour your elders and be kind to the young; you will attain my company in Paradise."[1]
This was demonstrated practically when Sayyidatunā Fāṭimah رَضِیَ اللهُ عَنْهَا came to visit the Holy Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم, and he صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم would stand up to welcome her, and when the Beloved Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم visited her, she would stand up.[2]
In light of these blessed aḥādīth, here are some ways to show respect to family members:
* Stand up out of respect when you see your parents coming.
* Kiss your father's hand and your mother's feet at least once a day.
* Never stare at them defiantly.
* Speak in a low and soft voice.
* Be patient if they say something harsh.
* Avoid arguing or fighting with them.
* Be patient even if you are scolded or hit.
* Immediately obey every command of theirs that is according to the Shariah.
* If there is no religious restriction, show the same respect and honour to your parents-in-law.
Regarding respect and honour, the conduct between husband and wife should be as follows:
* Do not use harsh or rude words with each other.
* Instead of giving a bitter reply, adopt patience and gratitude.
* If you have made a mistake, do not delay in asking for forgiveness.
* Do not criticise or speak ill of each other's parents or family.
* Do not attack each other's self-respect, whether in front of others or in private.
* Encourage each other.
* Do not be stingy with fair praise; instead, praise each other with an open heart.
The principle of showing respect among brothers and sisters should be as follows:
* Treat older siblings with the same respect as parents.
* Be kind and loving towards younger siblings.
* Younger and older siblings should all address each other with respectful terms.
* In short, avoid every such matter with any family member that might lead to even the smallest amount of dishonour (meaning, shaming or disgracing someone).
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