Upbringing of daughters

Children are a blessing of Allah عَزَّوَجَلَّ. While valuing this blessing, the parents should pay especial attention to the upbringing and nurturing of children because the children are like a blank paper and any type of decorative patterns can be drawn on it. The lap of a mother is the first school for the children. It is for the reason the upbringing by a mother has a very deep impact on her children. The sacred status of motherhood demands each mother to give excellent Tarbiyyat (upbringing) to her children especially the female children with Islamic culture and civilization, moral values and moral edification because today’s young girl will be a mother tomorrow. The renowned commentator of Glorious Quran, Sayyiduna Ilkiya Shaafi’i رَحْمَةُ اللهِ تَعَالٰی عَلَيْه said: It is incumbent upon us that we should provide Islamic education to our children and family members, teach them good things and impart to them that education of Adab (respect) which is unavoidable. (Tafseer Qurtubi, part 28, At-Tahreem, Taht-al-Ayah: 9, pp. 148)

Teach necessary aspects of Deen

In the very first place, teach your daughter Glorious Quran, and teach essentials of Islam, Islamic beliefs, purity, Salah and other rulings which are the part of day-to-day life. Thereafter, make arrangement to educate her skills of needlework by any pious woman, as women most often need to do it. Try to enable her to acquire expertise in cooking and other home economics skills as the refined and well-mannered woman can lead a better life than an unmannered one. The pious people used to give especial attention to the Tarbiyyat (upbringing) of female children. Following are the two beautiful examples regarding the Tarbiyyat of female children:

1 Taabi’i pious personality Sayyiduna Sa’eed Bin Musayyab Makhzoomi رَحْمَةُ اللهِ تَعَالٰی عَلَيْه married his daughter to one of his students. Next morning, when her husband, taking his Chador (sheet) in his hand, was about to leave his home, she asked him as to where he was going. He replied that he was going to the Majlis of Sayyiduna Sa’eed Bin Musayyab رَحْمَةُ اللهِ تَعَالٰی عَلَيْه for acquiring Islamic knowledge. The daughter said, ‘Please be seated! Let me teach you Islamic knowledge’. (Al-Madkhal li Ibn Al-Haaj, vol. 1, pp. 156)

2 It is stated that when ‘Al-Muwatta’ (glorious Hadees book), authored by Imam Maalik رَحْمَةُ اللهِ تَعَالٰی عَلَيْه, would be read in the court of Imam Maalik رَحْمَةُ اللهِ تَعَالٰی عَلَيْه, and the reader would make any mistake or would miss or add any letter (unintentionally) then his daughter would knock at the door, Imam Maalik رَحْمَةُ اللهِ تَعَالٰی عَلَيْه would understand that the reader has made a mistake, so, he رَحْمَةُ اللهِ تَعَالٰی عَلَيْه would say, ‘Read again, you have made a mistake.’ When he would read it again, he would really observe a mistake (in his reading) there. (Ibid)

Especially persuade for observing Pardah (veil) too

Have you observed? What a great Tarbiyyat (upbringing) the pious predecessors gave to their daughters! They grew them into practicing ‘Aalimah and the Haafizah of Quran and Hadees.

It is also learnt from the second example that our pious predecessors رَحِمَهُمُ الـلّٰـهُ تَـعَالٰی used to persuade their daughters especially to observe Pardah. The daughter of Imam Maalik رَحْمَةُ اللهِ تَعَالٰی عَلَيْه used to knock at the door staying behind the Pardah. So, inculcate the habit of Pardah in your daughters, right from their childhood. Refrain them to adopt masculine hair styles as well as ask them not to wear the clothes and hats of boys so that they consider themselves different than men, so, after reaching puberty and attaining adulthood they will not face difficulties in developing their habits and practices according to Shari’ah.

May Allah عَزَّوَجَلَّ enable us to give Tarbiyyat (upbringing) to our daughters in a true Islamic spirit.

اٰمِيۡن   بِجَاهِ   النَّبِيِّ  الۡاَمِيۡن   صَلَّى  اللّٰهُ تَعَالٰى  عَلَيۡهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم

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Upbringing of daughters

Neat and clean dress reflects one’s personality, and is a sign of showing gratitude for the blessing of Allah عَزَّوَجَلَّ. Washing and drying washed clothes is also a part of our daily household chores.

Following are the five precautions regarding washing and drying clothes:

1. Precaution from the clothes that bleed their colours

Dark-coloured clothes sometimes bleed colours. Do not wash them with light-coloured clothes as there is a strong possibility that they will dye other clothes.

2. Washing colourful and white clothes separately

Whether you wash your clothes at home or get them washed by a launderer, make sure to have white and coloured clothes washed separately.

3. Do not mix impure clothes with pure clothes

One single piece of impure cloth in a bucket of water or washing machine will make all clothes in it impure. (Explanatory note: The urine of even a one-day old baby is impure and the clothes it comes into contact with will also become impure.) (Madani Muzakarah, episode 3, pp. 20) It is not permissible to do so without any Shar’i reason.

On page 792 of 1st volume of Fatawa Razawiyyah (edited version), A’la Hadrat Imam Ahmad Raza Khan رَحْمَةُ اللهِ تَعَالٰی عَلَيْه has stated: Without any Shar’i reason, making any pure thing impure is an act of sin and an impermissible act. On page 585, volume 4, (edited version), it is stated: Making body and clothes impure without any Shar’i reason is a Haraam act.

It is stated in the book ‘Al-Bahr-ur-Raaiq’: Making pure things impure is Haraam. (Al-Bahr-ur-Raaiq, vol. 1, pp. 170)

Therefore, it is necessary to wash both, pure and impure clothes separately. If one wants to wash them together, then firstly purify the impure part of the clothes carefully. Then, you may put them together with unwashed clothes in the washing machine. (Kapray Pak Kernay ka Tareeqah ma’ Najasaton ka Bayan, pp. 30)

While switching on and off the button of washing machine, ensure your hands are not wet as there is a risk of getting an electric shock. (Explanatory note: For more information and rulings about the method of purifying clothes, read the booklet of Ameer-e-Ahl-e-Sunnat دَامَـتْ بَـرَكَـاتُـهُـمُ الْـعَـالِـيَـه Method of Purifying Clothes (With an Account of Impurities).

4. Precaution regarding using bluing[1]

Fill a bucket or big tub of water as required. Add a certain amount of bluing and mix it well into the water so that all of the water turns to the same colour. Thereafter, dip clothes properly into this water and take them out. Be careful when wringing out the clothes as sometimes, bad wringing damages the bluing of the clothes.

5. Precaution in drying the laundry

Choose a shaded and separate place for drying laundry washed in bluing because sometimes, sunlight causes stains of bluing appear on the clothes. For drying other clothes under the sunlight apart from the ones washed in bluing, clean the place first where you will dry your laundry in case you notice dust and dirt etc., there.

Make sure you use clothes pegs to prevent clothes from blowing off in a strong wind. Avoid iron safety pins as sometimes they get rusted and thus, leave rust marks on the clean clothes. When clothes get dry, remove them immediately because exposure to sunlight sometimes makes clothes lose their strength quicker or makes them go faded.



[1] Indigo-blue coloured washing powder / liquid.

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