Book of life
60 Actions that should be avoided
Abu Rajab Muhammad Asif Attari Madani
Once, the Holy Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم said to his companions: ‘Shall I not inform you of your good and bad (people)?’
All the companions remained silent. He صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم repeated this 3 times, to which one person said: ‘Yes o Messenger of Allah! Inform us of our good and bad (people)!’
He صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم said: ‘your good person is he whom goodness is hoped from and there is peace from his evil; and your bad person is he whom goodness is not hoped from and there is no peace from his evil.’ (Tirmizi, vol. 4, p. 116, Hadees 2270)
Dear readers of the monthly magazine ‘Faizan-e-Madina’, few things of ours are liked by others and few are not, and few things are so despised to others that they start getting irritated and annoyed with them. This happens when we do something disliked by the other person frequently in front of him. This ruins our impression and people consider us uncivilised. In some cases, we can also be held to account in the Hereafter due to causing harm to a Muslim without a Shar’i reason. We should try to become a means of tranquillity for the Muslims, not a means of hardship. In this article, 60 such actions have been highlighted that we shall avoid. These actions will apparently seem small and trivial, but constantly stoning someone with small pebbles also injures a person. Hence, read them with full concentration, comprehend them, and then try to search for them inside you. In case these things are present inside you, then try to remove them.
1. Slamming door forcefully while shutting it, especially when it is a metal gate.
2. Taunting someone over less income or over getting less marks in exams.
3. Changing someone’s decent mobile ringtone.
4. Changing someone’s mobile settings for no reason.
5. Looking at someone’s mobile screen while he is checking his messages, etc.
6. Talking loudly by a person who is on a phone call and disturbing him.
7. Making the other person guess who you are by calling him after a long time instead of introducing yourself to him.
8. Starting a long conversation after ringing someone without asking him if he is free to talk. It is possible that he may be in the middle of a meal or he may be driving.
9. The one who comes to visit you expects your full attention. Ignoring him and staying lost in your phone will make him feel humiliated.
10. Keeping inappropriate names of people.
11. Misplacing things that are in common use instead of placing them back in their designated place.
12. Staring again and again when speaking.
13. Boasting upon your favour.
14. Whispering in the presence of a third person. At times, even the one who is being whispered to also feels uncomfortable.
15. Generally, everyone has a separate towel in a household. Leaving your own towel and using somebody else’s.
16. Using an AC also increases the electricity bill. Majority of people are careful in using it. Turning on AC at someone’s office or home without his permission is a means of worrying them.
17. A washroom is generally commonly used by two or three people. Some people are not adherent to cleanliness by nature, or perhaps they do not regard it. Therefore, they leave dirty shoes or foot marks on the floor and dirt of their hands on the soap.
18. If washroom is not vacant, then knocking the door hardly instead of waiting.
19. Passing negative criticism on everything.
20. Not reaching on time despite giving time, and not even apologising for the delay.
21. Talking ill about someone in his presence to an influential personality.
22. Having doubts on every matter.
23. Turning your mood off on everything.
24. A wife insisting her husband over and over again to go to her parents’ house.
25. Threatening to divorce the wife over small and trivial arguments.
26. Criticising the food of the wife, no matter how delicious she cooks it.
27. Always crying over hardships instead of observing patience and paying gratitude.
28. Considering others foolish and oneself to be the wisest.
29. Probing someone if he does not want to mention his salary or age.
30. Exhaling smoke on others’ faces while smoking cigarette.
31. Blaming others for your mistakes.
32. Stipulating unnecessary restrictions upon your subordinates.
33. Just saying what you want to say without listening to the other person.
34. Not regarding anyone due to arrogance.
35. Being stubborn over everything, making it a matter of your prestige.
36. Nit-picking in everything.
37. Making someone a target to make fun of.
38. Conversing in a taunting manner.
39. Expressing joy over someone’s grief or pain.
40. Embarrassing someone over the mistakes which he has apologised/sought forgiveness for, or over those ill habits that he has abandoned.
41. In order to sit on your favourite seat, making the other person get up from there forcibly.
42. Taking up extra space while parking in the allotted parking space.
43. Giving suggestions without being asked for.
44. Interfering in someone’s personal matters.
45. Pushing others to get out of rush.
46. Motion of hands while talking in such a manner that at times, you stroke the head of the other person and at times, you tap his back.
47. Seeking affirmation from the other person to agree to everything you say during a conversation by using words like ‘I am right, isn’t it?’
48. Forgetting something every single time while doing home grocery instead of buying it completely.
49. Woman of the house sending her son or husband to the shops to buy small and little things again and again instead of getting the shopping done at once.
50. Spending extravagantly for oneself and being stingy in relation to the others.
51. Turning to someone else instead of listening to the reply of the person you have asked a question to.
52. Turning your face to the other side at the time of shaking hands.
53. Splashing drops of water on others while performing Wudu at a public place.
54. Not giving way to the other person despite there being no reason for doing so.
55. Turning into a narrow road despite seeing a car coming from the other end and blocking the road.
56. Stopping someone and engaging him in an unnecessary conversation without any reason.
57. Asking your student, younger brother or son to do something without finding out whether they are free to do so or not.
58. Insisting for everything to be done quickly instead of allowing appropriate amount of time for it.
59. Standing in between two people who are conversing. It is possible that they may be discussing something personal.
60. Turning on fan in cold without having regard for the other person.
Dear readers! If we contemplate and reflect further in the same way, we will come across many such matters that ought to be avoided. May Allah Almighty enable us to engage in the activities that should be performed and save us from the activities that should be avoided. آمین