Teaching Girls Household Skills for Confidence and Success

Teaching Girls Household Affairs

A woman is a great blessing of Allah Almighty who plays a vital role in the building and development of human society. Without a woman, the beauty, affection, and vibrancy of the world would fade. In childhood, she loves her siblings, after marriage she becomes a loyal companion to her husband, and as a mother, she showers her children with love and sacrifice. Before the advent of Islam, women had no dignity. They were deprived of inheritance, ownership, and social rights; they endured oppression and led helpless lives. However, when the noble Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم brought the message of Islam, the status of women underwent a revolutionary change. They were given honour, a share in inheritance, ownership rights, and social standing. Following this, instead of being humiliated in society, a woman became the queen of her home.

A woman's life passes through various stages. After reaching young adulthood, her personality blossoms, and she becomes ready for social responsibilities. After becoming a wife, she becomes the guardian of the home, a companion to her husband, and the foundation of the family. After becoming a mother, she becomes an exemplar of love, sacrifice, and nurturing.

In today's modern era, where great importance is given to girls' education, skills, and awareness, fundamental training in domestic life is also of utmost importance. Just as mothers show sincerity in providing their daughters an education and are mindful of their comfort during exams, it is equally necessary that they also teach their daughters to carry out household responsibilities with kindness and love. Most mothers exempt their daughters from household chores from an early age, but suddenly after marriage, every kind of domestic work is expected of them. This leads to the girl facing embarrassment, inexperience, and domestic tension.

If a female does not know how to cook, or even make tea, she faces misunderstanding, confusion, and sometimes ridicule in her in-laws' home. In such a situation, she feels like a failure and asks her mother for help on the phone, whereas if she was taught with love how to cook, clean, and manage kitchen routines in a timely manner, she could start her new life after marriage with confidence. For this reason, it is necessary for every mother to teach her daughter domestic skills along with an education, so that she may live a dignified and prosperous life in this world and be successful in the Hereafter.

A balanced approach is essential in a daughter's upbringing. It should not be that all the emphasis is put on domestic affairs, and the daughter is deprived of education and awareness. A strict attitude must also not be adopted that disheartens her from domestic chores and makes her always look for a way to escape them. A daughter should be taught with love, kindness, and wisdom so that she takes an interest in household chores along with her education and helps her mother during her free time instead of just resting or complaining.

When the time comes, she should be made to understand that the nature of life changes after marriage, and managing the household, getting along with her husband, and living with grace are signs of a woman's good conduct. She should learn from her mother or experienced women what things a wife and a daughter-in-law should be mindful of, so that she does not fall short in the eyes of the Shariah and does not face embarrassment in her in-laws' home or have to endure taunts from society. Instead, she can begin her married life with dignity, grace, knowledge, and skill.

It is also among a woman's duties that if her husband is poor and cannot afford a maid, the woman should do her own household chores; there is no humiliation or shame in this. Narrations from Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī reveal that the daughter of the Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم, the Lady of Paradise, Sayyidah Fāṭimah رَضِیَ اللّٰهُ عَنْهَا, also did all of her housework with her own hands, such as fetching water from the well and grinding grain until her hands developed blisters.

Similarly, Sayyidah Asmāˈ رَضِیَ اللّٰهُ عَنْهَا also did all the work in the house of her poor husband, Sayyidunā Zubayr رَضِىَ الـلّٰـهُ عَـنْهُ. She would gather date stones, fetch fodder for the horse, and even massage it herself. Doing housework along with worship, being experts in the sciences of Hadith and fiqh, and serving their husbands—all of this is proof that the wives of the noble Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم led very practical, pure, and dignified lives and did not waste a single moment.

Dear Islamic sisters! If only our lives could also reflect these blessed personalities, our lives would also become a glimpse of Paradise.

Girls should be taught basic household skills with grace and love so that they can become self-sufficient and confident in every stage of their lives. This includes easy handicrafts such as knitting sweaters, socks, hats, and sewing clothes and doing hand stitches. In cooking, they should know how to make everyday meals like bread, lentils, vegetables, meat, chicken, mince, liver, fritters, and rice, as well as special dishes for special occasions like biryani, korma, koftas, and karahi, and special dishes according to the tastes of each family, for example, spinach curry and corn bread in Punjabi households. Similarly, they should also be taught how to make pickles, chutneys, preserves, and seasonal drinks like lassi, barley, lemonade, milkshakes, and mango or banana juice.

In case of illness or an accident, it is necessary to know basic first aid, such as immediate actions to take in case of burns, cuts, sprains, pain, fever, blood pressure, or diabetes. The principles of cleanliness should be clear: never use dirty or medicine-stained utensils; rather, they should be washed and put away in order. One day of the week should be designated for a thorough cleaning so that the house remains neat, tidy, and free of germs. The girls who learn these skills with grace and poise will, اِنْ شَــآءَالـلّٰـه, never be dependent on anyone; instead, they will lead the lives of dignified, confident, and righteous women.