Our daughters and domestic values

Our daughters and domestic values

Umm Milad Attariyyah

Stay away from bad friends as much as possible, for a bad friend is more dangerous and harmful than a snake. The latter only harms your body, whilst the former harms both your body and faith. Whether company is bad or good, it has an effect.

The final Prophet of Allah, our master Muhammad صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم explained this in the following manner:

The similitude of good company and bad company is that of a perfumer and blacksmith. The former would either give fragrance to you free of charge, you would buy from him, or you would enjoy from him a pleasant smell. As for the latter, he shall singe your clothing, or you shall find an unpleasant smell emanating from him.[1]

Good company is rare in these times, and parents try their utmost to keep their children away from bad people. This caution is paid even more attention to regarding one’s daughters. After all, it is daughters who will go on to raise the next generation. They should be given such company from childhood, that even when they become adults, the positive effects of this remain with them, allowing them to provide a good upbringing for their own offspring.

A child’s first school is their mother’s lap. Following this, formal education begins, for which a good teacher is selected. Boys should be taught by male teachers and girls by female. In this respect, we will discuss what a teacher for girls should be like. As a student of knowledge sits in the company of their teacher for a long period on a daily basis, the teacher’s traits are naturally transferred to students.

If a teacher has a good character, this will be reflected in her students. If she has the best wishes of Muslims at heart, then her students will also find joy in helping Muslims. If she has passion for spreading the call to righteousness, the students will also be seen doing the same. If she is forgiving and forbearing, her students will be those who avoid unnecessary anger too. If she does good deeds, her students will also be practicing. If she is humble, her students will exude humility too. If she wears clean clothing, her students will also be presentable.

If she is cautious in her personal matters, her students will have a sense of pride in following her. If she is a habitual reader, her students will also be seen with books in their hands. If she respects her predecessors, her students will respect them too. If she is content with whatever she has, her students will also stay away from selfishness. If she does not regularly take favours from others, her students will not accept favours too. If she is neat and tidy, her students will also not be seen with their possessions scattered across the room. If she is righteous, her students will learn to fear Allah Almighty.  

In this way, the students will reflect their teacher in every matter. The latter helps in moulding her students into good and upstanding people. Overall, teachers play a significant role in making nations, for the development of young minds is in their hands.

Why are teachers necessary? As a student of knowledges grows older, the more established they become mentally, physically and emotionally. Two people play a major role in a person’s life: parents, who are their means for entering the world, and a teacher, who strengthen their connection with the spiritual realm. Parents teach us how to speak, and teachers show us when, where, and how to. Alongside parents, the spiritual father or mother (the teacher) is even greater. Nobody has preference or superiority over another, but when they became attached to knowledge, they became the best of people.

Knowledge creates within a person characteristics like righteousness, piety, ascetism, obedience, fear of Allah Almighty, good character, etc. Allah Almighty sent the Final Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم as a teacher of mankind. Teachers are like spiritual parents. Parents bring us into this world and teachers impart to us knowledge and skills, allowing us to ascend to the peaks. A teacher is like a lamp which puts an end to the darkness of ignorance in society. A teacher is like a flower in society through whose fragrance causes the relationship of love to blossom in society.

Behind a successful person is the true character of a teacher. A teacher does not only educate students of academic matters but shows them the good path and even gives them professional training. A teacher brings out the students’ abilities. Every person has been granted at least one quality, and a teacher is that esteemed individual who not only uncovers this hidden quality, but refines it too.

In Tafsīr Kabīr: “A teacher is more compassionate to his students than his parents, as his parents protect him from the fire and problems of this world, but teachers protect him from the Fire of Hell and difficulties in the Hereafter.”[2]

Parents should choose a teacher for their daughters who will have a positive impact on them; a teacher who does not encourage immodesty, improper covering, and misguidance. In this regard, Mawlana Ilyas Attar al-Qadiri writes in his book Backbiting: A Cancer in our Society, “Forbidding the seeking of knowledge – be it religious or worldly – from a misguided individual, Imām Amad Razā Khān رَحْمَةُ الـلّٰـهِ عَـلَيْه states:”

The company of misguided individuals is fire; the doctrine of learned men has been corrupted by this. The story of Imrān b. aān Riqāshī is well-known. He lived in the time of the Tābiīn and was a major Hadith scholar. Through staying in the company of a Khārijī woman (after marrying her), معاذاللہ he became a Khārijī himself. He married her thinking he could make her Sunni. (Those naïve people who deem themselves to be firm Sunnis that cannot be moved from their doctrine should take heed from this!)

When this is the effect of company, then taking such a person as a teacher is worse, as a teacher’s impact is greater and swifter. Only a person who has no connection to the religion and has no concern about his child losing theirs, would hand them over to a misguided teacher.[3]

In this sin-laden and misguided society, the Sunna-inspired religious environment of Dawat-e-Islami is nothing short of a blessing. اَلْـحَمْـدُ لـِلّٰـه Whoever acquires Islamic knowledge and practices the Sunna not only becomes a source of happiness for everyone, they also become a means of others being rectified, due to their  Sunna-inspired character.

Such a person then leaves this world and departs for the Hereafter with such glory, that those who see and hear of them also desire for such a death. Come to the religious environment of Dawat-e-Islami. Attend the weekly Sunna-inspired gatherings and make a habit of acting upon the Pious Deeds booklet given to us by Mawlana Ilyas Attar al-Qadiri. اِنْ شَــآءَالـلّٰـه You will be successful in both worlds.



[1] aī Muslim: Hadith 2628

[2] Tafsīr Kabīr, vol. 1, p. 401

[3] Fatāwā Riawiyya, vol. 23, p. 692


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