How the Prophetﷺ Treated His Family & Wives?

The Blessed Domestic Life of the Holy Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم

The life of the merciful Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم is an excellent example for everyone to follow. Despite the heavy responsibility of preaching the religion, the beloved Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم showed great kindness to his pure wives and his daughters. His noble treatment serves as a guide for the entire Ummah. The holy Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم said: “The best among you is the one who is best to his family, and I am the best among you to my family.”[1] Let us look at some aspects of his home life.

Seeking the Happiness of the Pure Wives:

The holy Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم used to comfort and please his pure wives رَضِیَ اللهُ عَنْهَنَّ. Once, the noble Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم miraculously fed grapes from Paradise to the Mother of the Believers, Sayyidah Khadījah al-Kubrā رَضِیَ اللّٰهُ عَنْهَا, to make her happy.^[2]

Cheerfulness and Good Humour:

In accordance with the circumstances, the holy Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم was cheerful with his wives. Sayyidah ꜤĀˈishah al-Ṣiddīqah رَضِیَ اللّٰهُ عَنْهَا narrates: “I was with the beloved Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم on a journey. We stopped at a place, and the holy Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم asked the Companions رَضِیَ اللّٰهُ عَنْهُم to go ahead. Then he had a race with me. At that time, I was slim, so I won the race. After some time, during another journey, he again asked the Companions رَضِیَ اللّٰهُ عَنْهُم to move forward and raced with me. At that time, I had gained some weight, so the holy Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم won. He then gently patted my shoulder and said, ‘This is the return for that [victory].’”^[3] (Note: This race took place in private, so this Hadith cannot be used to justify modern-day mixed-gender racing).

Similarly, the holy Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم would express happiness at the mutual cheerfulness of his pure wives and sometimes even participate in it. Sayyidah ꜤĀˈishah رَضِیَ اللّٰهُ عَنْهَا narrates:

I prepared a dish called khazīrah (made of meat and flour) for the holy Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم and presented it to him. The holy Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم was sitting between me and Sayyidah Sawdah رَضِیَ اللّٰهُ عَنْهَا. I asked Sayyidah Sawdah رَضِیَ اللّٰهُ عَنْهَا to eat, but she refused. I said, “Either you eat, or I will apply it to your face.” She still refused. So, I took some Khazīrah with my hand and applied it to her face. The holy Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم began to smile. He then picked up some Khazīrah and gave it to Sayyidah Sawdah رَضِیَ اللّٰهُ عَنْهَا and said, “Now you apply it to her face too.” The holy Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم expressed his happiness at that time.^[4]

Teaching Religious Knowledge:

The beloved Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم also taught his pure wives religious knowledge. In this matter, the names of Sayyidah ꜤĀˈishah and Sayyidah Umm Salamah رَضِیَ اللّٰهُ عَنْهُما are foremost. They received precious jewels of knowledge from the holy Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم. In fact, Sayyidah ꜤĀˈishah رَضِیَ اللّٰهُ عَنْهَا held such a high status that she used to solve the most difficult intellectual problems with ease.^[5]

Special Care for the Rights of the Pure Wives:

Before his passing, during his final illness, the holy Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم wanted to spend his time at the home of Sayyidah ꜤĀˈishah al-Ṣiddīqah رَضِیَ اللّٰهُ عَنْهَا. Instead of simply announcing his decision, he showed great care for the rights of all his wives. He repeatedly asked, “Where will I be tomorrow?” The pure wives رَضِیَ اللهُ عَنْهَنَّ understood his wish and said, “You may stay wherever you like.” Thus, he stayed at the home of Sayyidah ꜤĀˈishah al-Ṣiddīqah رَضِیَ اللّٰهُ عَنْهَا until his passing.^[6]

Consultation (Mashwarah):

The holy Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم would also consult with them. He would seek their opinions and encourage them. At times, he sought their advice in very sensitive situations. For example, he consulted Sayyidah Khadījah رَضِیَ اللّٰهُ عَنْهَا when the first revelation (waḥy) descended.^[7] Similarly, on the occasion of the Treaty of Hudaybiyah, he consulted Sayyidah Umm Salamah رَضِیَ اللّٰهُ عَنْهَا and accepted her proposal.^[8]

Excellent Treatment of Daughters:

He also treated his daughters with great care and kindness. He would be happy at their joy and saddened at their grief. He would even stand up out of love upon the arrival of his most beloved daughter, Sayyidah Faṭimah رَضِیَ اللّٰهُ عَنْهَا.^[9]

These noble character traits not only provide guidance for a happy home life for the Ummah but also clearly show the high status of women in Islam.