Mistakes made in raising children

Message to parents

Mistakes made in raising children

Bilal Husain

The desire of all those who attain the status of a father or mother is that they are successful in raising their children in a good manner. However, parents unknowingly make some mistakes that have a negative impact on the children, and in the long run, these mistakes prove to be detrimental for the children. Some points regarding this have been mentioned below; read them yourself and share them with others also:

*   When you see that your children are slightly worried, do not run to their aid immediately. Rather, give them the opportunity to deal with it themselves, so that they develop an ability to deal with issues.

*   Constantly comparing your children with other friends, relatives and siblings can undermine their self-confidence. Therefore, this should be avoided.

*   Do not acknowledge every type of achievement and work in the same manner.

*   Parents should share their experiences and the minor mistakes of their past with their children, so that the children can save themselves from committing the same mistakes.

*   By no means does having an intelligent child warrant that s/he can differentiate between good and bad for themself. Therefore, instead of [leaving them to] rely on intelligence alone, be watchful over them.

*   Act upon those things that you tell your children to do; if there is a discrepancy between your words and your actions, i.e. if you say one thing and do another, then your words will have no effect upon your children.

*   Do not become utterly compassionate towards your children or treat them harshly all the time. Rather, adopt a middle path, and display both gentleness and firmness in accordance to the situation.

*   Do not give children so much freedom lest they find it difficult to follow rules and be disciplined in the future. Neither place excessive amounts of restrictions upon them, as treating children in this manner can lead to them rebelling.

*   In every situation, treat your children as though you are their advisor, not their boss.

*   Avoid punishing children in front of others, as this can affect their self-confidence and produce negative feelings within them.

*   Some parents are unduly overprotective with their children, which results in them having a fragile nature. This should never be done, as they are also to live within this society, and if they have a delicate nature, they will be unable to deal with their future concerns with confidence.

*   Instead of imposing an unbalanced timetable upon children and making them into robots, arrange a suitable schedule for them, which, alongside studying, consists of other appropriate activities as well.

*   Avoid inappropriate language in all situations, and especially in front of the children.

*   For parents to lie on the phone in front of children, or for the father to tell the child ‘Tell them that dad is not at home’ when being called outside by someone, is akin to teaching them how to lie.

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