Do not give difficulty to the deceased
The head of the central executive committee of Dawat-e-Islami, Maulana Imran Attari
Sayyiduna Sadaqah Bin Sulayman Ja’fari رَحْمَةُ الـلّٰـهِ عَلَيْه states: ‘In my youth, I was distant from performing good and close to transgressions. In this time, my father passed away. As a result, the condition of my heart changed, I repented from my sins and busied myself in good deeds. However, as time began to pass, I once again fell prey to mistakes and errors, until I eventually saw my deceased father in my dream. He stated: ‘My son! I was extremely happy with you as your deeds were presented to me, they resembled the actions of pious people. On this occasion, when your deeds were shown to me, I was left feeling ashamed. Do not embarrass me around the deceased who neighbour me!’ After experiencing this dream, a transformation occurred in the life of Sayyiduna Sadaqah Bin Sulayman Ja’fari رَحْمَةُ الـلّٰـهِ عَـلَيْه. Repenting from all sins and transgressions, he proceeded to live a life of steadfast piety and righteousness.
O devotees of the Messenger! We should live our lives in such a manner that not only those who are alive remain safe from us causing them any difficulty, but also those who have passed away. How unfortunate would it be that our deeds are presented to our deceased ones, and it causes them pain and worry. In the aforementioned incident, the way we discover that the good actions of children cause their parents to receive happiness in their graves, in the same stead, we come to learn that the sins of children cause their parents to become worried and placed in difficulty. Furthermore, as mentioned in hadith that bad deeds performed by the living become a cause of sadness for deceased family members. Observe these two statements of the Messenger of Allah صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم in this regard:
1. On Monday and Thursday, deeds are presented in the court of Allah Almighty. On Friday, they are presented to the Prophets عَـلَـيْـهِمُ الـسَّـلَام, fathers and mothers. They become happy with good deeds therein, and the brightness of their faces increases. (And due to bad deeds, they become saddened) So, you should remain fearful of Allah Almighty, and do not give difficulty to your deceased (by performing sins).
2. Do not give difficulty to your deceased by means of your reprehensible deeds, as they are presented upon your family members who have passed away.
For this reason, the companion of the Messenger, Sayyiduna Abu Darda رَضِىَ الـلّٰـهُ عَـنْهُ would make Du’a regarding his martyred uncle, Sayyiduna Abdullah Bin Rawahah رَضِىَ الـلّٰـهُ عَـنْهُ, in this way: ‘O Allah! I ask you for refuge from those deeds which become a means of (my uncle) Sayyiduna Abdullah Bin Rawahah رَضِىَ الـلّٰـهُ عَـنْهُ becoming embarrassed.’ Imam Ghazali رَحْمَةُ الـلّٰـهِ عَـلَيْه states that Sayyiduna Abu Darda رَضِىَ الـلّٰـهُ عَـنْهُ would supplicate as follows: ‘O Allah! I ask you for refuge from every work that becomes a means of my humiliation in front of Sayyiduna Abdullah Bin Rawahah رَضِىَ الـلّٰـهُ عَـنْهُ!’
Sayyiduna Sa’eed Bin Jubayr رَحْمَةُ الـلّٰـهِ عَـلَيْه once advised Sayyiduna Usman Bin Abdullah Bin ‘Aws رَحْمَةُ الـلّٰـهِ عَـلَيْه regarding his wife, and stated: ‘O Usman! Do good in your relationship with her. Whatever conduct you adopt in your dealings with her will reach (your father-in-law), Sayyiduna ‘Amr Bin ‘Aws رَحْمَةُ الـلّٰـهِ عَـلَيْه.’ Sayyiduna Usman Bin Abdullah رَحْمَةُ الـلّٰـهِ عَـلَيْه then asked: ‘The news of the living reaches the dead?’ Sayyiduna Sa’eed Bin Jubayr رَحْمَةُ الـلّٰـهِ عَلَيْه replied: ‘Yes, everyone connected via familial relationship has news of their family members conveyed to them. If they are involved in good, this gives them profound happiness, and if they are involved in bad, this leaves them saddened and broken hearted.’
Once, when Ibrahim Bin Saalih Bin Ali Bin Abdullah Bin Abbas Haashimi was the ruler of Palestine, he was advised by a the great Tabi’ of the Tabi’een, Sayyiduna Abbaad Al-Khawwaas رَحْمَةُ الـلّٰـهِ عَـلَيْه, who stated to him: ‘This matter has come to my knowledge that the deeds of the living are presented to their deceased family members. By extension, you should consider what state your deeds are in when they are presented in the court of the Messenger of Allah صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم. Upon hearing this, Sayyiduna Ibrahim Bin Saalih wept until his beard became drenched in tears.
Further detail of deeds which give difficulty and worry to the deceased can be found in a variety of books. For example, the final Messenger of Allah صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم once saw somebody leaning against a grave, and stated: ‘لَاْتُؤذِ صَاحِبَ ھٰذَا الْقَبْر’ meaning, do not give pain to the inhabitant of this grave.
A’la Hadrat, the Imam of Ahl Al-Sunnah, Imam Ahmad Raza Khan رَحْمَةُ الـلّٰـهِ عَـلَيْه states: ‘This pain given to the deceased is something which was observed by those of the illustrious Tabi’een and the honourable scholars, who were possessors of spiritual insight (Baseerah).’ After discussing this issue, the Imam of Ahl Al-Sunnah then proceeded to narrate incidents relating to placing one's head upon a grave to sleep, stepping upon a grave, etc., and provided evidence highlighting how these actions cause difficulty for the deceased.
Imam Ahmad Raza Khan رَحْمَةُ الـلّٰـهِ عَـلَيْه also mentions: ‘The mother of the believers, Sayyidah Aaishah Siddiqah رَضِیَ الـلّٰـهُ عَنْھَا even forbade combing the hair of the deceased, as this causes them pain.’
‘Allamah Abd al-Mustafa al-A’zami رَحْمَةُ الـلّٰـهِ عَـلَيْه writes: ‘It is universally agreed upon that anything which can cause difficulty or pain to the living also causes difficulty or pain to the deceased. As such, to urinate or leave excretion upon graves, leaving anything filthy upon it, breaking apart graves until they are destroyed or trampling upon them, building houses upon them, and sitting or lying upon them; because these actions cause pain to the deceased, they are all impermissible and disallowed. It is necessary for every Muslim to respect and honour Muslim graveyards, and refrain from any act which disrespects a Muslim grave or causes it damage and harm.’ In the same fashion, the deceased should not be placed in storage freezers, as this causes them difficulty.
It is impermissible, Haraam and sinful for Muslim medical students to operate on human bodies in order to gain experience in regards to operations, because this causes pain to the deceased.
It is my humble request to every devotee of the Messenger! Maintain your lifestyle in such a manner that your words and deeds are not only free from causing pain and worry to the living, but also to the deceased. The scholars mention: ‘The respect of a living and a deceased Muslim is the same, and giving them pain is Haraam.’
Khudaya, na takleef ka mayn baa’is banoon
Tayri jannatoun ka mayn waaris banoon
May Allah Almighty grant us the privilege of acting upon what has been said.
اٰمِیْن بِجَاہِ النَّبِیِّ الْاَمِیْن صَلَّی اللہ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ وَاٰلہٖ وَسَلَّم
 (‘Uyoon-ul-Hikayaat, p. 401)
 (Nawadir-ul-Usool, vol. 1, p. 671, Hadith 925; Al-Tayseer bi Sharh Al-Jami’-us-Sagheer, vol. 1, p. 450)
 (Mawsu’ah Ibn-e-Abi AL-Dunya Kitab Al-Manamaat, vol. 3, p. 14, Hadith 2)
 (Al-Zuhd Li Ibn-ul-Mubarak, p. 42, Hadith 165; Ihya-ul-‘Uloom, vol. 5, p. 252)
 (Al-Zuhd Li Ibn-ul-Mubarak, p. 151, Hadith 447)
 (Hilya-tul-Awliya, vol. 10, p. 19, Raqm 14345)
 (Musnad Ahmad, vol. 39, p. 476)
 (Fatawa Razawiyyah, vol. 9, p. 435)
 (Fatawa Razawiyyah, vol. 9, p. 164)
 (Jahannam kay Khatraat, p. 148)
 (Mahnamah Faizan-e-Madinah, Rabi’-ul-Aakhir 1440 AH January/December 2018, p. 12)
 (Mahnamah Faizan-e-Madinah, Jumadal Ukhra 1442 AH/ February 2021 p. 12)
 (Fatawa Razawiyyah, vol. 9, p. 453)