A well-known personality who was considered to be highly successful in his profession has related his incident as follows: Back then, I was in sixth grade. I failed my annual exam. One of our female relatives said to my mother: ‘Study is not his cup of tea! Push him to learn about lathe machine.’ Listening to her, I felt really bad. However, I committed myself to not only get passing marks, but secure a position. So my hard work did not go unrewarded. The very next year, I topped my class and from then onwards, I kept achieving success. Today, I have everything, fame, money, and respect.
Dear readers of ‘Monthly Magazine Faizan-e-Madinah’! Human life is comprised of success and failures. If we want to pass an exam or get employment, we should keep in mind the possibility of failure also along with success. However, one of our weaknesses is that we set the level of our expectations to such an extent that if we fail, we have to face a lot of disappointments. As a result, some people develop psychological problems, some become addicted to drugs, and some people get dejected so much that they commit the Haraam [prohibited] act of suicide.
Within just a few months, some pieces of news have come through which have made me so worried. These pieces of news were about young people who committed suicide by hanging themselves, or jumping from a tall building or into a river, etc. just because of failing an exam, gaining low marks, or losing admission to a specific college or university. As an example, following is a piece of sad news: ‘My dear parents! Forgive me. I have got very poor result, so I will be subjected to utter disgrace. However, I tried my level best to score good marks. Just forgive me. اللّٰه حافظ.’ This suicide note was allegedly left behind by a first year student from Multan for his parents. (Express News, 15 Oct 2019)
O devotees of Rasool! Those failures have departed this life, leaving behind their parents and siblings sorrowful. Today, if we ask their parents whether they want their children alive and happy or they want success or position in exam, they will instantly reply that they want their children alive. These parents and relatives should ask themselves as to who put an individual under so much pressure of taunts and criticism that he committed suicide. They will probably find their own self as an answer. The one who fails his exam is already in a state of shock. So he needs support, sympathy and consolation. But alas! Be it an elder or a younger person in a family, all of them express harsh disapproval to him, breaking his heart more than anything else does. A person who repeatedly fails in exams is treated in such a way as if he has committed the biggest crime in the whole world. We should understand that failing an exam is not good, yet we should react to it appropriately and calmly. Moreover, we should motivate the one who fails. If we listen to problems and manage to resolve them, only then he will get motivated enough to pass the exam or secure a position the next time. At least we should make up mind that failure is not the end of the world. It is humbly requested that give beloved child absolute confidence that even if he fails, he comes back home so that you can see him safe and sound. Remember that parents are not responsible in many cases but relatives’ undesirable behaviour plays a pivotal role. However, we must not gather to destroy someone.
The way of Ameer Ahl-e-Sunnat
Ameer-e-Ahl-e-Sunnat, ‘Allamah Muhammad Ilyas Attar Qadiri دَامَـتْ بَـرَكَـاتُـهُـمُ الْـعَـالِـيَـه was once distributing prizes among the students of Jami’a-tul-Madinah who had secured good positions. As the prize distribution came to an end, Ameer-e-Ahl-e-Sunnat دَامَـتْ بَـرَكَـاتُـهُـمُ الْـعَـالِـيَـه asked about the lowest-scoring student. A student raised his hand. Then Ameer-e-Ahl-e-Sunnat دَامَـتْ بَـرَكَـاتُـهُـمُ الْـعَـالِـيَـه awarded him also a prize and gave a Madani pearl that all of us congratulate the students who pass their exams, but we should also motivate the low-scoring students, enabling them to secure good marks in future.
Respected parents! You should also have hopes from your child on the basis of his intellect, skill, and strength. You should make up his mind that whatever he is studying, he should know it. He should be a good student. Tell him that if he secures a position, you will give him such-and-such a prize; if he fails to secure a position, you will not rebuke him. On the contrary, children are continuously placed under the pressure that they must secure a position, come what may! Otherwise, they are treated as a failure and incompetent person. Therefore, parents neither let them take enough rest nor let them refresh their mind. Parents force them into continuous and excessive study, sparing them only for basic requirements. It is best to secure a position in an exam. But with due respect, please correct this misconception that only those students who secured good positions are successful in their life. One can get a position by chance as well such that the questions for which one prepares very well come in the exam and he gets a position. List down a few people by name who you think are successful and see if they are all position holders. In my experience, numerous times, a common person has outdone position holders in practical life. If you wish for your child’s position merely to proudly state to your relatives and friends that your child has got first position, and to share it on social media to receive congratulations and respect, don’t you think that trying various unsuitable ways to achieve this dream of yours is an unjust burden on your child? You can find the answer yourself. Moreover, it might be the fact that you want your child to do something which you failed yourself. Read an imaginary but interesting incident and calmly think about your behaviour.
This is your school report!
In the evening, a man reached home, tired. As he sat on a sofa, he saw a fifth grade report on the table in front. He thought to himself that his wife had perhaps put it for him to see the result of his son. His anger flared up as he looked at the marks obtained. Filled with anger, he called his son and said: ‘Take a look at this. Only 55 marks in Mathematics, 45 in Science, 40 in Computer! So poor marks! You are very weak in studies!’ He kept speaking ill of it. The son stood in a state of shock, thinking as to what had happened to his father suddenly. Listening to it, the wife came from the kitchen hurriedly and tried to say something but he was not ready to listen to anyone. After his comprehensive analysis on the report, the wife gathered courage to speak: ‘Dear, at least listen to me. This is not your son's report; his result will come out tomorrow.’ Stunned, he asked: ‘Then whose report is it?’ The wife said: ‘While arranging old documents, I found your old report. I thought that I would show it to you as a memory when you would come. That's why I had put it here on the table.’ Listening to it, the analysis of the report he had made a little while ago started to echo in his mind. He could not find any excuse to remove his embarrassment, so he silently moved towards washroom. When he furtively glanced at his wife and son, they were hiding their smiling faces.
We heavily focus upon the success in worldly education. If we place just half of this focus upon making our children habitual of offering Salah, keeping fasts, and carrying out other Fard and Wajib acts, our society will turn into a real Islamic society. In order to develop and increase this enthusiasm, with your sons, attend the weekly Sunnah-inspiring Ijtima’ of Dawat-e-Islami - the Madani movement of devotees of Rasool – in your city, and witness the positive outcomes yourself.