Rasoolullah صَلَّی اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ وَاٰلِہٖ وَسَلَّمَ has stated:
اَلَا تَسْمَعُوْنَ اِنَّ اللَّہَ لَایُعَذِّبُ بِدَمْعِ الْعَیْنِ، وَلَا بِحُزْنِ الْقَلْبِ، وَلَکِنْ یُعَذِّبُ بِہَذَا- وَاَشَارَ اِلٰی لِسَانِہٖ- اَوْ یَرْحَمُ، وَاِنَّ الْمَیِّتَ یُعَذَّبُ بِبُکَاءِ اَہْلِہِ عَلَیْہِ
Translation: Don’t you listen! Certainly, Allah اللّٰہُ neither inflicts punishment for weeping tearfully nor for grief in the heart. (And after pointing towards the tongue, he اللّٰہُ said) However, [Allah اللّٰہُ] will inflict punishment or have mercy because of it and certainly, punishment is inflicted on a deceased person because of the wailing of his family members for him.
(Sahih Bukhari, vol. 1, pp. 441, Hadees 1304)
Explanation of Hadees
This blessed Hadees contains the description of three things:
2. However, if one says something which Shari’ah does not permit, then he will deserve punishment; such as wailing for a deceased person (i.e. crying loudly); and if he says something good, he will be granted reward.
3. If the family members of the deceased person wail for him, this causes punishment for him. The commentators have mentioned its several meanings:
٭ This punishment is to be inflicted on the person who makes a will for wailing for him after his death. If his family members wail for him, fulfilling his will, then he will be punished for that. And, if his family members wail for him without him making any such will, he will not be punished for this reason because Allah اللّٰہُ has said:
وَ لَا تَزِرُ وَازِرَةٌ وِّزْرَ اُخْرٰىۚ
No load-bearing soul will bear the load of another.
[Kanz-ul-Iman (Translation of Quran)] (Part 8, Surah Al-An’aam, Ayah 164)
(Mirqat-ul-Mafatih, vol. 4, pp. 208, Taht-al-Hadees: 1724)
٭ Punishment means the pain and suffering inflicted on the deceased person when he hears his family members wailing. (Mirqat-ul-Mafatih, vol. 4, pp. 224, Taht-al-Hadees: 1741) Narrated by Mirqat, etc., this has been stated in Fatawa Razawiyyah as well. (Fatawa Razawiyyah, vol. 24, pp. 481)
Furthermore, it is also stated in Fatawa Razawiyyah: Wailing does cause pain to the deceased person. Those alive also get upset and worried by wailing and this causes even more severe pain to the deceased person. In fact, the pain caused by wailing to the deceased person is beyond description. In addition, the deceased person has gone to the Hereafter where he will be grieved by every grief and will be delighted by every virtue. This [wailing] causes very severe pain to him. Whether the deceased is a child or a young man, all are equal in this regard. (Fatawa Razawiyyah, vol. 24, pp. 480)
٭ According to a verdict, the deceased person here means the one close to his death. When his family members weep and wail beside him, he feels even more severities of death. (Mirqat-ul-Mafatih, vol. 4, pp. 208, Taht-al-Hadees: 1724)
Why no punishment for weeping tearfully and for grief in heart?
‘Allamah ‘Abdur Rahman Ibn Jawzi اللّٰہُ (who passed away in 597 AH) stated: There is no punishment for weeping tearfully and for grief in the heart. There are three reasons for it.
1. There is no fault in these two because these are not against Shari’ah.
2. These two are actually the effects of the deep feelings of the heart, which is in the nature of human beings.
3. It is not possible to refrain from these two. Therefore, there is no questioning over them.(Kashf-ul-Mushkil, vol. 2, pp. 563)
Meaning of wailing and ruling on it
A legendary and leading scholar of Shari’ah and Tareeqah, Mufti Amjad ‘Ali A’zami اللّٰہُ stated: Wailing means crying loudly while telling the attributes of the deceased person exaggeratedly and this is unanimously Haraam. There is the same ruling on wailing while saying “Alas! Trouble!” Tearing the breast [i.e. the part of the clothing that covers the chest], clawing the face, uncovering hairs, throwing dust on the head, beating the chest, hitting the thigh are all the practices of the pre-Islamic era of ignorance and are Haraam. (Bahar-e-Shari’at, vol. 1, pp. 854)
Imam of Ahl-us-Sunnah, Imam Ahmad Raza Khan اللّٰہُ اللّٰہُ stated: Wailing for the deceased person and crying loudly are severely Haraam. (Fatawa Razawiyyah, vol. 24, pp. 482) Ahadees-e-Mutawaatirah are also available, declaring that wailing for a deceased person is Haraam. (Fatawa Razawiyyah, vol. 24, pp. 486)
Five sayings of Mustafa صَلَّی اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَلَیْہِ وَاٰلِہٖ وَسَلَّمَ regarding wailing being Haraam
1. There are two (signs) of Kufr (disbelief) in people: taunting anyone about his lineage and wailing for a deceased person. (Sahih Muslim, pp. 55, Hadees 227)
2. Cursed are two voices in the world and in the Hereafter: music at the time of blessing [happiness] and wailing at the time of trouble. (Kashf-ul-Astaar, vol. 1, pp. 377, Hadees 795)
3. The wailing [woman] who does not repent before her demise will be made to stand on the Day of Judgement with a Kurta of sulphur and a scarf of itch on her body. (Sahih Muslim, pp. 362, Hadees 2160)
4. On the Day of Judgement, there will be two rows of the wailing [women] in Hell. They will be barking there at the right and left side of Hell-dwellers, as bitches bark. (Al-Mu’jam-ul-Awsat, vol. 4, pp. 66, Hadees 5229)
I have had enough of the one who shaves off (the head, the moustache or the beard, etc.) and shouts and tears the breast [i.e. the part of the clothing that covers the chest]. (Sahih Muslim, pp. 65, Hadees 288)
صَلُّوا عَلَی الْحَبِیْب! صَلَّی اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَلٰی مُحَمَّد