Childhood is a beautiful part
of human life. During childhood, the correct upbringing of children and
reforming their bad habits into good ones in an excellent way make them productive
members of society.
On contrary, during
childhood, when parents show carelessness by overlooking the bad habits of
children and pampering them in their choosy and self-concerned attitude, it
results in trouble and suffering for the children and their guardians in
Harm of unnecessary
Stubbornness is also one of
the habits of children which need reformation. Children usually are stubborn
but this habit is excessively ingrained into some children. It can be
understood in this way that if a child demands for the moon to play with it,
parents have to fulfil even such type of demand. The stubbornness of children
becomes an embarrassment for parents when children start showing it in the
presence of guests, hosts or other people and end up in crying for not getting
their ways. On such occasion, only those who have faced this situation can have
an idea about it.
Kinds of stubbornness
The stubbornness of children
can be divided into 2 basic types.
1. Fulfilling of which
is impermissible as per Shari’ah.
2. Fulfilling of which
is permissible as per Shari’ah.
If a child shows stubbornness
for such kind of demand which is impermissible and sinful as per Shar’iah, it
cannot be fulfilled in any condition. Though a non-Baaligh child is not bound
to follow Shar’iah but the parents who fulfil such demand become sinner, plus
the child whose such demands are fulfilled can become fearless in future in
adopting the acts contrary to Shar’iah; so, parents should adopt a tactful
strategy to control their children without fulfilling their impermissible
If a child demands any such
thing which is not forbidden as per Shar’iah, parents should act upon according
to the situation. Remember! Immediately fulfilling every demand of a child or
rejecting it, both are inappropriate. So, parents should fulfil the demand of a
child from time to time but tactfully make him also habitual of listening to
‘refusal’. The act of fulfilling every permissible demand plays an important role
in spoiling children.
If the fulfilment of
children’s demand is made conditional to the ‘Madani fees’ i.e., ‘different
virtuous acts’, then hopefully, the good upbringing of children, on this
method, can also be done. Persuade children in this way, for example:
٭If you want such and such a thing for
eating, recite Salat-‘Alan-Nabi [Durood] 50 times daily.
٭If you want to play on the swing, perform
Salah five times a day for certain days.
٭If you want such and such a toy, watch
Madani Channel daily for 26 minutes for certain days.
Parents should fulfil their
promise when they receive Madani fees. Resultantly, through this way, اِنْ شَـآءَ اللہ عَزَّوَجَلَّ children will become habitual of performing different virtuous
deeds without noticing it.
O our beloved Allah عَزَّوَجَلَّ!
Grant us Taufeeq (ability) to give correct upbringing to our children and make
our children a means of Sawab-e-Jariyah [perpetual rewards] for us.
اٰمِيۡن بِجَاهِ النَّبِيِّ الۡاَمِيۡن صَلَّى اللّٰهُ تَعَالٰى عَلَيۡهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم