How to Develop Gentleness

worse, the matter deteriorates instead of being resolved, leading to enmity and quarrels. But if we respond with gentleness, overlooking their mistake and forgiving them, then اِنْ شَــآءَالـلّٰـه, the positive outcome will bring coolness to the heart.

Allah Almighty says in the Holy Quran:

اِدْفَعْ بِالَّتِیْ هِیَ اَحْسَنُ فَاِذَا الَّذِیْ بَیْنَكَ وَ بَیْنَهٗ عَدَاوَةٌ كَاَنَّهٗ وَلِیٌّ حَمِیْمٌ(۳۴)

Repel evil with what is best; then he, between whom and you there is enmity, will become as though he is a close friend.^{^[1]}

Tafsīr Ṣirāṭ al-Jinān explains:

Repel evil with goodness, for example, anger with patience, ignorance with tolerance, and bad treatment with forgiveness. If someone does evil to you, forgive them. The result will be that even an enemy will begin to love you like a close friend.^{^[2]}

4. Eat less!

Another means of softening the heart is adopting the habit of eating less. Overeating not only makes worship difficult and harms health, but also causes hardness of the heart. Sayyidunā ꜤAbdullāh b. ꜤAbbās رَضِیَ اللهُ عَنْهُمَا narrates that the beloved Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم said: مَنْ شَبِعَ وَ نَامَ قَسٰی قَلْبُہٗ “Whoever eats to his fill and then sleeps, his heart becomes hardened.” He further said: لِکُلِّ شَیْءٍ زَکَاةٌ وَ زَکَاةُ الْبَدَنِ الْجُوْع “Everything has a zakat, and the zakat of the body is remaining hungry.”^{^[3]}

5. Choose good company!

Another way is to avoid the company of the sinful and to sit in the

[1] Al-Quran, Ha Mim Sajdah, verse 34; translation from Kanz al-ꜤIrfān

[2] Ṣirāṭ al-Jinān, vol. 8, p. 639

[3] Sunan Ibn Mājah, vol. 2, p. 347, Hadith 1745

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