How to Develop Gentleness

gentleness naturally appears in one’s character.

Now, how can the heart be softened? Let us consider a few key points in this regard.

If we remain engaged in dhikr and reciting ṣalāt, its blessing will soften our hearts. Otherwise, neglecting the remembrance of Allah Almighty brings the curse of a hard heart.

Sayyidunā ꜤAbdullāh b. ꜤUmarرَضِیَ اللهُ عَنْهُمَا narrates that the beloved Prophet صلَّی اللہُ عَلَیْہ ِوَاٰلِہٖ وَسَلَّمَ said:

Do not engage in excessive speech without the remembrance of Allah Almighty, for excessive talk without His remembrance hardens the heart. And indeed, the furthest of people from Allah is the hard-hearted.^{^[1]}

2. Declare war against sins!

To soften the heart, one must engage in abundant good deeds and strive to avoid every minor and major, outward and inward sin. Sins harden the heart. Therefore, inculcate within yourself the fear of Allah Almighty and remember the torments and punishments of the Hereafter that result from sins. اِنْ شَــآءَالـلّٰـه, hardness of the heart will dissipate.

3. Make forgiveness a habit!

Train yourself so that whenever someone, knowingly or unknowingly, causes you harm, instead of responding with anger or retaliating, you control your temper and pardon. Keep this principle in mind: if impurity falls on something, it is cleansed with water, not with more impurity. Similarly, if someone wrongs us and we retaliate with the same or

[1] JāmiꜤ Tirmidhi, vol. 4, p. 184, Hadith 2419

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