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Imam JaꜤfar al-Ṣādiq’s رَحْمَۃُ اللہِ عَلَیْہ Advice to His Son
their graves. The reward of good deeds performed by living children reaches deceased parents in their graves.[1]
The relationship children have with their parents
O devotees of the saints! Quran and hadith greatly explain the high rank held by parents. Children must treat their parents with nothing but goodness, kindness, and impeccable manners. They must respect their parents, and consider serving them to be an honor for themselves. When parents reach old age, they should be served even more, as they need it then more than ever.
Parents becoming elderly can be a testing time, leading to many children becoming tired of looking after them. Yet, serving your parents is a must, even in that time. Remember, it is the same parents that did not get tired of looking after their children. Due to old age or illness, no matter how irritable and harsh parents may be, no matter how much they use stern words, no matter how much they quarrel and make you anxious; you must be nothing but patient, patient, and patient. You must show them respect no matter what.
Let alone being disrespectful or shouting, we cannot even say “Ugh” to them. If we do, we may suffer irreplaceable loss and steep failure in both worlds. Whoever hurts their parents is disgraced in this world and punished in the Hereafter.
Allah Almighty teaches us how we should respect our parents in His Quran. He declares:
فَلَا تَقُلۡ لَّہُمَاۤ اُفٍّ وَّ لَا تَنۡہَرۡہُمَا
So, do not say (even) 'Ugh' to them and do not scold them.[2]
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