Upbringing of
children in their young age
٭ It is necessary for a mother to bring up
children in such a manner that they become fond of virtuous deeds and have
aversion to evil deeds from their childhood. She should appreciate children if
they perform something good, and if they perform something bad, then she should
stop them from it in an appropriate manner. If this is not done, then it is
possible that the child gets spoiled and does something really bad and harmful
when he grows up.
٭ Just like a father, mother is also a role
model for her children. Crying need of the time is that mothers themselves act
upon the blessed Seerah (biography) of the Sahabiyyat and righteous
predecessors and concentrate upon the education and edification of their
children so that Sunnahs can prevail in our society. Moreover, a mother should
relay the parables of the Holy Rasool صَلَّى اللہُ تَعَالٰى عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم, blessed
companions رَضِىَ الـلّٰـهُ تَعَالٰی عَـنْهُم and
righteous predecessors رَحِمَهُمُ الـلّٰـهُ تَـعَالٰی to her
children from their childhood so that the devotion of these righteous
personalities gets engraved in their hearts from their childhood and they try
to adopt their blessed Seerah.
٭ As soon as children come to an age where they
can go out of the house on their own, mother should ensure that children know
the name of their father, home address and contact number, in case may Allah
Almighty forbid, they forget the way or get lost, then it is possible for them
to reach home.
٭ When daughter grows up a little, make her
wear a scarf. When she grows a bit further, then get a small Burqa’ sewn for
her so that she gets used to the Shar’i veil when she grows up.
Telling child
about glory of Allah Almighty
A mother should try to strengthen the Iman [faith] of the child right
from the childhood. She should not make him scared of dogs, cats or genie,
ghost; rather, whenever the need arises, she should try to give the child the
mindset that son! Allah Almighty likes this action and does not like this
action etc. The child will ask that who is Allah Almighty? Then tell the child
that the One Who created the entire universe. We all are Allah’s bondmen. This
way, the Iman of the child will strengthen.
Make children
used to cleanliness from their childhood
Mother should make her child used to cleanliness from his childhood and
tell him that Allah Almighty likes those who remain neat and clean. In summer,
if possible, give the child bath everyday. If the clothes are dirty, she should
change them straightaway. She should not leave the bed impure at all. She
should purify it straightaway and specially look after the cleanliness of the
children.
Lying in front of
children is destructive
Lying is anyway a major sin, but lying in front of children is severely
destructive. Those children in front of whom parents lie and if someone comes
at the door, they make them say that tell him there is no one at home etc., it
is possible that the same children lie to their parents in future.
Do supplicate for
your children
Supplications of a mother along with her striving efforts play a major
role in the Madani upbringing of the child. Supplications of a mother hold a
special rank of acceptance. As it is stated:
Eyesight was
restored
Imam Muhammad Bin Isma’eel Bukhari رَحْمَةُ
اللّٰہِ تَعَالٰی عَلَيْه became
blind in his childhood. He was treated by the acclaimed physicians of the time
but the eyesight could not get restored. His mother was a devout woman who
would worship abundantly. She supplicated imploringly in the court of Allah
Almighty that ‘O Allah Almighty! Restore the eyesight of my son’.
One night, she beheld the Beloved Nabi of Allah عَزَّوَجَلَّ,
Sayyiduna Ibraheem عَـلَيْـهِ الـصَّلٰوة ُ وَالـسَّلَام in her
dream. He عَـلَيْـهِ الـسَّـلَام said, ‘Allah Almighty has
restored the eyesight of your son due to your imploring and seeking of Du’a
abundantly.’ When Imam Bukhari رَحْمَةُ اللّٰہِ تَعَالٰی عَلَيْه woke up
in the morning, his eyesight had been restored. (Ashi’a-tul-Lam’aat, vol. 1, pp. 10)
Quarrel of
children should not reach elders
Children are children. They quarrel while playing and the very next
moment, they reconcile with each other. Mother shall not take faults out of the
other children while being one sided, rather, she should look at who’s fault it
was. Upon the mistake of her own child, she should give him the mindset to
apologise to others. Moreover, she should explain him that whenever you commit
a mistake, then you should apologise. Those mothers who rebuke other’s child
and unjustly turn a blind eye to their own child’s mistake despite the child
being wrong, their disputes often reach the elders which leads to a bigger
loss.
Mother’s
responsibilities in the educational matters
٭ Some mothers persist that children will study
in a certain institution; whereas, the father of the children or other elders
do not agree to this because of being aware of the failures or lack of
religious education or Madani Tarbiyyat (edification) in that institution.
Therefore, the mother should not persist on it; rather, she should also give
good advice to the father of the children for the education and moral
reformation of the children and try to make him understand in an appropriate
manner.
٭ One shall not burden children with one’s own
desires. Have a look at their own interest too. If the child is specially
inclined towards religious education, then it is a great privilege and a means
of goodness of this world and the Hereafter.
Role of mother in
the personal life of children
٭ Relationship of a mother and children is distinguished
from various aspects. One of them is that there are a lot of things that
children talk to mothers about but cannot do so with the father. Therefore,
taking advantage from such opportunities, mother should give them the right
advice and try to guide them correctly.
٭ Father eventually oversees the matters of
sons, but mother should be more aware in relation to the daughters that what
kind of girls she has friendship with. It is often seen that the poor parents
of the girls having friendship with the girls of fashionable and rich families,
face various types of problems.
٭ Most of the times, mothers play a leading
role in choosing the marital match for their children. Priority shall not be
given to only worldly riches and highly paid jobs; rather, along with good character and a religious
family with correct beliefs, consent of the children shall be given the first
priority.
We pray to Allah Almighty that may He عَزَّوَجَلَّ enable
all the mothers to do the Madani Tarbiyyat [edification] of their children
while truly following the blessed Seerah of Khatoon-e-Jannat, Sayyidatuna
Fatima-tuz-Zahra رَضِىَ اللہُ تَعَالٰی عَـنْهَا.
اٰمِيۡن بِجَاهِ النَّبِيِّ الۡاَمِيۡن صَلَّى اللّٰهُ
تَعَالٰى عَلَيۡهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم
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