A mother’s role as the first Institute of Education / Do not Break Ties

A mother’s role as the first institute of education

Umm-e-Milad Attariyyah (Head of Aalami Majlis-e-Mushawarat)

A caravan was on its way from Gilan to Baghdad. As soon as it entered a jungle, a group of robbers appeared and began taking the belongings and goods from the caravan. There was also a young man in the caravan who a robber approached and said: ‘Boy, do you have anything?’ The young man replied: ‘I have forty dinars, which are sewn into my clothes.’ When the robber saw them, he was astonished. He took the young man to his leader and told him everything about the incident. The leader said: ‘People hide their wealth from robbers, but you revealed your wealth without being forced!’ The young man replied: ‘When I left home, my mother made me promise her that I will tell the truth in every situation, and I am upholding that promise.’ The leader said in a state of embarrassment: ‘How fortunate are you to keep the promise you made to your mother, and how cruel am I to break the promise made to my Creator!’ After saying this, the leader, along with his companions, repented with a sincere heart and returned all the stolen property as well. (Bahjah Al-Asraar wa Madan Al-Anwar, p. 167, summarised)

This young man was our beloved spiritual guide, Sayyiduna Ghaus Al-A’zam Shaykh Abdul Qaadir Jilani رَحْمَةُ الـلّٰـهِ عَلَيْه.

Dear Islamic sisters, a mother’s role has a huge influence on children, and the initial nurturing of a mother lasts with a child for the rest of its life.

At an early age, a child's heart is pure, and its mind is like a blank slate that accepts anything which is inscribed on it. A good nurturing at this age makes the child a good person, and a bad nurturing makes the child a bad person. As the famous saying goes: ‘Learning in childhood is like engraving on stone.’ Parents can suffer serious consequences by neglecting their children's education and nurturing at this age.

Remember that children follow the actions of their parents. If parents are lovers of the Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم, adherents of the Shari’ah and eager to learn the religion, then these habits will pass onto their children as well. In such case, children will be a source of honour for the parents in this world and a cause of forgiveness and salvation in the hereafter. Conversely, if the bad habits of parents are passed onto their children, it will be a cause of humiliation and loss in this world and the hereafter. Parents should pay attention to their knowledge and practice; if they adhere to the religion, they will be able to offer their children a religious nurturing in its truest sense.

This was epitomised by the mother of Sayyiduna Ghaus Al-A’zam رَحْمَةُ الـلّٰـهِ عَلَيْه, who would recite Quran so much that he had memorised 18 parts (juz) whilst in her womb. His mother's role is an excellent example for our women. In order to learn how to recite the Quran with Tajweed in the comfort of your home, benefit can be taken from Dawat-e-Islami’s department, Madrasa-tul-Madinah Online.

To learn how to live one’s life according to Islamic values, there is the facility of participating in short online courses and Dars-e-Nizami [Aalimah Course] as well. We should take advantage of these facilities by putting in great effort to acquire religious knowledge so that our upcoming generations, equipped with the teachings of Islam, can gather the provisions to better their life in this world and the hereafter.

Mayri aanay wali naslayn tayray ishq hi mayn machlayn

Unhayn nayk tu banana Madani Madinay walay

May my future generations immerse themselves in your love,

Make them pious, O the one from Madinah!

(Wasail-e-Bakhshish, p. 429)


A mother’s role as the first Institute of Education / Do not Break Ties

Do not break ties

Bint Muhammad Ya’qoob Attariyyah

‘Sister Fatimah! I am very happy today, as our aunt’s daughter will be getting married, and on top of this, dad has given us permission to go there. I will buy everything myself; fancy clothes, matching jewellery, sandals, and I will buy such things that give the people no choice but to look at me. Only if grandma gives permission also,’ said Zaynab in one breath, as she addressed her elder sister.

Fatimah was about to reply to Zaynab, when the grandmother, who had also heard Zaynab’s words, said, ‘Don’t you dare even mention going there! I invited your aunty to my son’s wedding and then to my daughter’s, but she did not come. If she is proud of her wealth, then we are not lacking in anything either.’

Fatimah became frightened at the show of her grandmother’s anger. ‘Why are you looking at me? I did not say anything wrong! Turn on the television for me,’ said grandmother.

Frightened, Fatimah said, ‘Yes, of course grandmother’, and then picked up the remote control and switched on Madani Channel, and then went to her room.

In the beautiful moments of the morning, in the programme ‘Khulay aankh صَلِّ عَلٰى kehtay kehtay’, the preachers were coincidentally speaking about breaking ties of kinship, and that it is stated in the Holy Quran:

الَّذِیْنَ یَنْقُضُوْنَ عَهْدَ اللّٰهِ مِنْۢ بَعْدِ مِیْثَاقِهٖ۪-وَ یَقْطَعُوْنَ مَاۤ اَمَرَ اللّٰهُ بِهٖۤ اَنْ یُّوْصَلَ وَ یُفْسِدُوْنَ فِی الْاَرْضِؕ-اُولٰٓىٕكَ هُمُ الْخٰسِرُوْنَ(۲۷)

Those who break the covenant of Allah after binding it, and cut off that thing which Allah has ordered to join, and spread turmoil on the earth; it is they who are in loss.

[Kanz-ul-Iman (translation of Quran)] (Part 1, Surah Al-Baqarah, Verse 27)

Our state is such that we become upset over the smallest of matters; look at how many hardships and difficulties the disbelievers of Makkah put our Beloved Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم through, to the extent that he صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم had to leave Makkah. Despite this, on the occasion of the conquest of Makkah, he صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم announced amnesty for all and forgave everyone. But we become upset for an entire lifetime over minor issues. The Beloved Prophet صَلَّى الـلّٰـهُ عَلَيْهِ وَاٰلِهٖ وَسَلَّم said: ‘The one who breaks ties of kinship will not enter Paradise.’ (Muslim, p. 1062, Hadees 6520)

Maulana Rumi رَحْمَةُ الـلّٰـهِ عَلَيْه states:

تو برائے وصل کردن آمدی

نے برائے فصل کردن آمدی

Translation: You have come to this world to form ties, not to cut them off.

After hearing the faith-refreshing words of the preachers, grandmother felt that she was mistaken. She sought forgiveness from Allah Almighty in her heart, saying, ‘O Allah, forgive me.’

By the time the programme had come to an end, grandmother’s heart had also become cleansed. Grandmother turned off the television, and then called out to Fatimah, ‘Fatimah! Fatimah!’ ‘Yes, grandma,’ said Fatimah as she came running.

‘Tell your mother to iron my clothes too. We will all go to your aunt’s house tomorrow.’

Fatimah said, ‘Grandma! You were just saying that we are not going!’ Grandmother said, ‘Daughter! If they did not come, then what is the issue? We will go for the sake of Allah Almighty.’

Fatimah joyfully said, ‘My beloved grandma,’ as she hugged her grandmother.




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