Befriend your Children!
Mawlana Aṣif Jahanzayb Attari Madani
Today we will focus on nurturing teenagers, i.e., children between the ages of 13-19. This is a critical age in which the child undergoes many physical and emotional changes. If parents are unable to raise them correctly at this age, the children will consider their parents enemies. We must first understand how they think and what their desires are. When parents realise this, it will become easier to understand their problems and befriend them.
1. One of the characteristics of children this age is that they like to take on more challenging tasks, which are suitable for elders. This is why they do things that will cause them and their parents great difficulty. It is essential for parents to ensure their children are using their energy in beneficial activities, so their enthusiasm is satisfied. Parents can take their children to the park so they can run, play, and exercise. Apart from this, they can be assigned chores around the house to develop their mental and physical capabilities.
2. Children of this age feel independent and self-reliant. They will perceive any attempt to curtail their decisions as affronts to their freedom. Instead of giving orders, parents should explain their decisions. Use wisdom to persuade them to take a different course of action and reason with them. Once they understand your reasoning, there will be no need to scold or force your children to do anything.
3. Children of this age have good and bad friends. They meet each other, have fun and share their problems and wishes. The children are young and inexperienced so they can share wrong ideas and advice. As a result, there is a risk of them engaging in bad actions.
Foster a friendly, cordial, and respectful relationship with your children from an early age so that they can share everything, good and bad, with you without fear. This will give your children a safe zone and protect them against negative influences. Who can care more for children than their parents? Thus, it is necessary for parents to spend time with their children every day because if they do not, someone else will. Whoever gives time to your child will become his friend and sympathise with him, even if the reality is contrary to this.
Dear parents! Draw nearer to your children. Make them realise you want the best for them and you are not their enemies. You can only raise your children correctly once they become attached to you.